Giving In to the Silly Bandz

Why Is Daddy Crying? I came across this blog today and laughed/cringed at this post. It reminds me of the fact that while I think I am still cool, I am endlessly out of touch. Never thought it would happen to me, but alas, I still have no idea who Justin Bieber is and I have never heard a song by the Jonas Brothers.

John and I have talked about what what Alice will like when she grows up - her taste in music, for example. We seem to think that the stuff we like will still be relevant and appropriate but I am sure we will be annoyed with "the crap music she likes"

Enjoy...

Giving In to the Silly Bandz Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 8:08AM

Silly Bandz. Seriously….they’re killing me.

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago when she mentioned these damn things. I was all, “what? Silly What? You’re stupid…you just live in a high-class hoitie toitie area where stupid trendy crap like that rules all.”
Two weeks later my kids come home from school, each wearing little rubber band looking things around their wrists.

My immediate reaction was, “Honey!!!! Did you have the kids listening to Madonna again!!”

But then they took them off and I saw they weren’t the beloved jelly bracelets of my childhood, instead they were in the shapes of cars, robots, and dinosaurs.

I’ll admit it, I fought the kids wearing those them initially. I was all, “I don’t understand why you kids wear those things!! They don’t do anything but just look silly on your arm!!”

Then the boy chimed in, “daddy…they are called ‘silly bandz.’”

Then, like the reflection of one’s life a mere seconds before it’s taken from them, I remembered the Madonna jellies, the Converse Chucks, Jams, Ocean Pacific shirts, Garfield lunch boxes, Inspector Gadget yogurts, and listening to the Beastie Boys full notch through a boom box resting cool-like on my shoulder as I walked down the street.

I can drop a cool $5 on worthless pieces of crap “Bandz” that help create memories for my kids as they blunder their way through childhood. And I look forward to the day when I happen to overhear them at the age of 30 talking with friends having the same conversations we’re having now….

“Yeah…and what about the socks with the different colors stripes at the top, and the Izod shirts, Bon Jovi, and when Guns-N-Roses re-did Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.”

Just simple mile markers along the journey to adulthood….

I love it....so it must be discontinued

The story of my life! Once I find a product that I LOVE, it gets discontinued. Most of the time they are food related but sometimes they are objects that I have used to build my entire kitchen around...THREE TIMES!!!

Ah, McDonald's Sweet Chili dipping sauce. The sauce that started my chicken nugget cravings that lasted for at least 6 months. I tried store bought sweet chili sauce and it is just not the same. The bottled sauce is most likely missing the secret McDonald's ingredient....CRACK!

Peanut Butter Twix. But, it is still out there, you say. NAY! The popular "regular" Twix with caramel is in every grocery check-out lane and if you look hard, you will find Twix PB but not Peanut Butter Twix. What is the difference? the cookie! Twix PB has a chocolate cookie while the original peanut butter kind has a vanilla cookie. The devil is in the details...oh, and the cookies.

If you have ever been in my bedroom, you know that I have about 40 different bottles of scented lotion but never wear any of them - because I am still bitter. Bath and Body Works and The Body Shop robbed me of my most favoritest scented lotion - Lilac. In college, I even took a job at Bath and Body Works to get a discount on my fav stuff. (no, really)

On to the kitchen debacle.... my choice of dishes has changed 3 times all due to lines being discontinued. First, below is Pfaltzgraff Mountain Shadow. I got this set in college just as I started putting a real life together. There was/is an outlet store in Syracuse so I got a real bargain on a whole bunch of pieces. As piece after piece started breaking, I discovered that I could not replace them because the damned pattern was no longer available. This should probably be at the top of the post since it started the whole thing.

Then, I fell in LOVE LOVE LOVE with this pattern. I scored, majorly, at Macy's in Atlanta with coupons and credit vouchers and sales. I replaced the entire Mountain Shadow with this set. I think I spend about $145 on $600 worth of dishes. Awesome, huh. Well, not for long....

When John and I moved from Atlanta to Huntsville in 2005, our moving truck got into an accident. (and not just a fender bender - the truck flipped over, landed on a car-killing the passengers, AND caught on fire - no shit). The whole moving story is another post unto itself - maybe later. Anyway, one of the many boxes of items that was destroyed contained every single bowl we owned! I tried to order matching replacements only to find that...yup...retired pattern. COME ON!

And now, to add insult to injury...my wedding china has been discontinued. I picked something simple and pretty because I figured that it would be timeless and classic. Of course, as newlyweds, we did not have the cash to purchase the outstanding pieces for the set and now we can't if we wanted to. Honestly, I am not really sure why on earth I registered for china to begin with. But, I guess I did because that is just what you do when you get married. In the 9 years we have been married, I think it has been used 3 times. On top of that as an only daughter, I will be probably be inheriting my mother's china.
And this......oh, this...... the reason for this post..... Sierra Mist Ruby Splash has been discontinued. My favorite summer drink..... Gin and S.M. Ruby Splash.

I have tried using regular S.M. with a splash of grapefruit juice but it is just not the same....

And yes....very bitter (the grapefruit juice AND me!)

Office Pics

I had a request for pictures of my little office. It isn't decked out like Pandora's office but I hope you enjoy the pictures!!

Today's Food WTF moment....

Bacon Fruit Cups

Bacon Cups

Really not sure what to say about these...

Where are you in your life when you decide that it would be fruitful (lol, no pun intended) to make a bowl out of BACON??

And yet, as I write this post, I can hear my husband saying, Homer-style, "mmmmm bacon"

Seals are Sociopaths

There is something odd, yet hysterical about these drawings by Jason Sweeney. Check out his website.

If I wanted to...

my FAVORITE things

I am going to start posting things that tickle my fancy..... There are really some funny, clever, twisted people in the world. Love it!

Uni-Corn Corn Holders

Um, I am not sure how to tell you this...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What's on your mind? [update status here]

Colleen Shattuck Bartos...



...wonders why there are bows on bras for grown women.



...wonders how it is possible to still have any hair on my head with so many strands in the sink, tub, and hair brush.



...wonders how she got so lucky (ah ok, that one can go on FB) :)



...wonders why people waste time with grudges. Dude, Life is too short!



...wonders if a spoon full of sugar really does help anything go down.



...loves saying the word 'FUCK' and loves all the wonderful variations of the word.



...wonders if Alice will have a filthy mouth like her mother.



...thinks that is all for now.

Toliet Humor

Like Colleen mentioned below, I am currently traveling and stayed the night at the Embassy Suites in Baton Rouge, LA. It was a decent room but I was suprised when I went into the bathroom. The toliet is exactly 2 feet tall. When you sit on it, my knees were around my ears. Then, I looked up to the celing and saw a door. I was a little freaked up by seeing the door. Why do they need a door in the celing? I was a little spooked so I closed the bathroom door and put a chair up against it. A little freaked out last night.

Strike Two, you're out

Well it seems as though John has gotten into the blogging so now i am the one who has to catch up....


To follow-up on my previous post about the SmokeHouse. We went back this weekend to use the gift certificates that we were given on V-day. The server actually asked us if we were part of the "V-day massacre dinner service" - um, yeah, glad to know the manager remembered our faces. Nothing like going to a restaurant and finding our that you are being scrutinized. Anyway, food was 'meh'. Without the gift certs the meal would have been $50. way too much money for less than stellar food, IMO. So, we will not be back there....


So we got our tax refund last week and proceeded to spend it all on things that we 'need' but aren't really tangible. Example...we spent $452.48 on fucking pool chemicals! yeah, you read that right. sickening, huh. the only plus about it is that we will not have a pond scum looking pool in our backyard like we did last year. well, at least we BETTER have a crystal clear pool this year.

I had hoped to get, and we even budgeted for, Merry Maids to come to the house once a month. But you know what happens when you get "free" cash....oh, let's go out to dinner,...oh, let's go do this,....oh, let's buy that.... and then the money is gone....Damn it. Guess I will be cleaning those bathrooms.

Since this is a closed blog, I can tell you that John is out of town until Wednesday night. Alice and I get on just fine when he is gone but it is definitely so much easier when he is home. I don't know how single parents do it. My/our only concern about being alone in the house without John is my insane office neighbor. He, no joke, is insane. oh, and he hates me! lovely. I will definitely fill you in on the craziness through my posts but it is all too much to go into now. Last weekend, John and I went Taser shopping but were stunned to find out that they are close to four hundred dollars. At this point, we settled for pepper spray - at home and in my desk in my office. And I got a new lock on my office door.

Think I will end here. will try to keep my thoughts a little more pulled together next time. this post was written amid a number of interruptions. Hope you all have a good week!

John's Favorite Songs

After the movie list, here are my favoirte songs.

Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Paint It Black by Rolling Stones
Caught Up in the Moment by Big and Rich
Cover of the Rolling Stone by Dr. Hook
Ride a Cowboy by Big and Rich
American Pie by Don McLean
What was I Thinkin by Derks Bentley
Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim
Carolyn's Booty by Presidents of the United States
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You by Colin Hay
Seek Up by Dave Matthews Band (Red Rocks Concert)
You and Me by Dave Matthews Band
Gray Street by Dave Matthews Band
Grace is Gone by Dave Matthews Band
Hunger for the Great Light by Dave Matthews Band
Why Don't You Get a Job? by The Offspring

John's Movie List

After watching one favorite movies, Twister, I thought I should post my favorite movies in no particular order.
-Empire Strikes Back
-Rigth Stuff
-Revenge of the Sith
-Twister
-Wrath of Khan (Star Trek II)
-The Negotiator
-Die Hard
-Bull Durham
-A Bridge To Far
-Hard Rain

Gray in the beard

I know that I am only 32 years old but I am going gray. It is only in the beard. I grew the beard to look older and now it is the only thing with the gray hair. I have had the beard for 10 years except for 6 months. Goatie? Deep thoughts....

What is it about garter belts?

I did warn you..... I don't know what it is about garter belts and nylons. Holy shit batman. It is too bad I can't get Colleen dress like this to work.

BRAND NEW DAY ON THE BLOG

Seeing that Colleenie and I are sharing this blog. I have been a little worried about posting things because I know that she would be checking it more often. With the site now passworded to protect the innocent, I thought I can get a little more racey and not worried about the whole world reading it. So, here is some more of what is in John's head............ I did warn you.

We're out of that...

John and I went on a date last Saturday for Valentine's day. Our first outing, as a couple sans baby, in over 16 months. Of course we didn't get our shit together to make a dinner reservation until the Tuesday before so we couldn't get in to PF Chang's. (yes, I know, way over hyped but I love me some dandan noodles). I made an online reservation at the new BBQ place in Bridge Street called SmokeHouse. We were able to get out first time choice so it was set. Our new (and potentially permanent) babysitter, came over to meet and greet Alice and the dogs. Amazingly enough, Alice took right to her - a big relief to me.

We arrived at Bridge Street, headed to the restaurant, and were seated in the back corner against the wall. The entire place was set up in 2-tops (presumably for lovey couples) but I could quickly see that there was a huge disconnect between splitting the tables for maximum occupancy and staffing appropriately for maximun occupancy. The physical area of our table had 16 2-top tables and only one server - who was literally running.

We sat for about 5 minutes before we were greeted. I ordered a Cosmopolitan and John ordered a Jack on the rocks. The drinks came and the server disappeared. My drink was gross. It tasted like it was made with those sugary syrups that you buy at the grocery store and "just add alcohol" and it tasted virgin instead of the Grey Goose that I ordered.

Um...just looked back at this post and realized that it is long already and we have only ordered drinks....so, here is the short, short version....

Sent drink back, ordered wine. Ordered dinner - John ordered combo plate of spare ribs and chicken, I ordered Sweet Garlic And Green Chili Grilled Red Snapper (perhaps a stupid thing to do at a bbq place but it sounded good). Dinner arrived and John had ribs and brisket not chicken and my fish tasted like it had sat in the window for about 30 minutes....it was icy cold. The waiter took my fish back and eventually a manager came over to tell us that the kitchen was out of John's chicken. Fast forward 25 minutes, another order of my fish arrives and while it is piping hot, it is also the hardest piece of anything that I have ever attempted to chew, so back it goes. The manager came out again and offered to get me something else. After some convincing, I ordered the baby back ribs. 10 minutes later, the manager was back to tell us that the kitchen was out of baby back ribs. Are you kidding me?

Now at this point, John and I are past annoyed and starting to laugh at the ridiculousness of this dining experience. We were not looking for the restaurant to buy our meal at all but a nice place such as this, needs to live up to some expectations, right? In the end, we ended up paying about $20 (John's drink, my wine, and a side salad) and recieved a coupon for a free appetizer and a $25 gift certificate. We think that we need to use the gift certificate as soon as possible because we don't see this place open for too long. Too bad....John's ribs were really good.

To cap off the evening, we walked over to Connor's for dessert and another drink(s). They have the most amazing strawberry shortcake and made me a cosmo that was insane! mmmmm....Grey Goose L'Orange Cosmo with a lime. DAMN!

So our re-entry into the dating world was a little rocky but I think there might be a little hope as long as we don't go back to SmokeHouse. :)

What did you do for Valentine's day? post a comment!

Epimetheus and Pandora

A number of my friends have a blog that they use as an outlet for thier random digressions, bitches, and general discussions.  As most of you know, John and I have a blog for Alice (Muffin's Oven and Beyond) and John has his own blog (Epimetheus and his rocks).  I don't like using Alice's blog for any of my personal things because I have become too lazy to enter anyting into her baby book, I need to just print the blog and stuff it in the book.  Also, I thought that since John posts to his own blog so infrequently, we should combine our efforts and have just one blog for the both of us.  It is entirely possible that many, if not most, of the postings will be about eachother.

John's original posting "Why Epimetheus" explains why he had chosen the original title.  When I discovered that Epimetheus's wife was Pandora....well, that just about settled it. 

I asked John about merging the blogs on last Saturday night, our first date night since Alice was born.  The conversation went like this:

Me:  Well, since you already have the Greek reference, we could name it "Epimetheus and Pandora".  They were husband and wife, right?
John:  Are you sure you want to be Pandora?
Me:  I think it may be sort of fitting.  I know that I tend to do, um, things.
John:  I think Pandora killed Epimetheus.
Me: So, like I said, sort of fitting. 

I must tell you here and now....My postings may get pissy and vulgar.  I hope that you will comment share your opinion as often as you wish.  I hope that John posts more often and does not allow me to take this whole thing over as I tend to do.  we'll see...